Kristi Noem, faithful follower of the Nine Commandments, is not only a bad pet owner, she's a bad liar. In her new memoir, No Going Back, she writes in no uncertain terms about her face-to-face encounter with North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un.
"I had the chance to travel to many countries to meet with world leaders — some who wanted our help, and some who didn't. I remember when I met with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. I'm sure he underestimated me, having no clue about my experience staring down little tyrants (I'd been a children's pastor, after all). Dealing with foreign leaders takes resolve, preparation, and determination."
When no one believed her and she was asked for additional details about where and when she met with Kim, Noem backpedaled. Her damage control team leader, Ian Fury, crafted a set of talking points for Noem to employ, as she appeared on various news channels to promote her memoir. Last night, she appeared on Fox News, and when Jesse Watters asked her if she'd actually met Kim Jong-Un, she gave the same canned script she's given everyone else.
"I guess you said you met Kim Jong-Un. Did you meet him?" asked Watters.
"I've been to the DMZ," said Noem. "I've been to North Korea."
I've been to Vatican City. I guess that means I can say I met with the Pope!
She goes on: "And so when I looked at the book and I saw that excerpt, I decided to make the change to the content of the book and that's been done."
Hold up. She looked and her book and "saw that excerpt?" Did her ghostwriter toss it in there to make her look cool? This is another one of Noem's multiple lies about the made-up encounter. Noem narrated her own audio book! When she read the line "I remember when I met with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un" into the microphone, did it not give her pause? Any normal person would stop narrating and say, "Hey, I never met that guy!" But not Kristi. With her busy schedule organizing covert trysts with Corey Lewandowski, shooting farm animals that smell bad, and undergoing the arduous process of getting a Melania Trump makeover , she might not have been realizing what she was reading as she was narrating.
"So you didn't have a conversation with Kim when you were at the DMZ?" asked Watters.
"I don't have conversations about my conversations with world leaders," said Noem, reciting Fury's script. The thing is, no one is asking her what her conversation with Kim Jong-un would have been if she actually had met him. They just want to know if she actually met him. And that's not an answer she will ever provide.
So, while Noem is unwilling to have conversations about conversations with world leaders, she seems to be fine with having conversations about conversations about conversations with world leaders.
In any case, Noem must be relieved to have that dog-slaying incident behind her. MAGA folk hate people who shoot dogs, but they love hypocrites who spout barefaced lies. Noem is back and looking more like Melania than ever!
To have a conversation about Noem and Watters' conversations about conversations about conversations with world leaders, join us in the comments!
